Monday, February 27, 2006

TOO MUCH IRONY IN MY BLOOD PRESSURE


I know what you're thinking...
"Wait a minute here... What's with the title of this post? 'TOO MUCH IRONY?'...Isn't irony pretty much one of your favourite things, TMcG!?!"

Well... not always.

You see, there's intented irony which is mostly just goofing with words and perceptions of meaning. (That's my favourite.)

Then there's the irony that Life hands out on a fairly regular basis... This is mostly what we were taught in school is called "dramatic irony" which has more to do with the poignant significance of seeming incongruities and happenstance they do with literal or intended meanings. (If you're still confused, give Alanis Morrissette a call. She took enough flack over this very subject to be an expert by now... mostly because "Isn't it dramatically ironic" really didn't fit the meter of the song.)

But that's not what I'm on about here. What I'm on about here is that unique brand of human-generated irony which can be interpreted as having been inspired by one of only two sources:

1) Simple thoughtlessness

or if there was thoguht, then it can only have been imbued with the following intention...

2) Sheer, unmitigated malice

This is the sort of malice that, when I encounter it, makes my Celtic blood boil and gives me dark visions of settign my very best fighting clothes aside because I'm about to take a a luxuriant and much-desired bath in my most hated enemy's blood and I see no reason to diminish that joy with unnecessary dry-cleaning bills.

This happens alot these days. And frankly, it makes my stomach hurt. The one thing my Celtic ancestors did NOT bequeath unto me was a world in which I might freely indulge my bloodlust without consequence. As a result, my stomach lining is forced to die the deaths that rightfully belong to countless useless fucking skinbags who are only still alive today because I don't want to go to prison and because they spawn faster than Fate or their own stupidity can take them out.

So there above is the example that spawned this, my first entry in awhile because... HEL-LO! FUCKING BUSY ALRIGHT!?!

It's what is generically referred to as an "error message". But look closer.

Did you catch it?

That's right....

That's the message that displays when my work's system ISN'T able to display something on the internet! When it ISN'T connecting me to the electronic world at large! When it ISN'T, in short, FUCKING WORKING!

So here's my point... WHO IN-ALL-GOD'S-CLUSTER-FUCK-CREATION IS THE STUPID AND/OR MALICIOUS FUCKING SHIT-FOR-BRAINS SKINBAG who decided that THIS is the best of all possible times to point out how they are "ENHANCING MY INTERNET EXPERIENCE"!?!?!?!?!?!

HUH!?!?!??

I mean SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!!

FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...And every time I see it I die a little more inside.




1 Comments:

Blogger Robert said...

Because "Killing your stomach one layer at a time" isn't an appropriate slogan... we haven't reached that level of truth in advertising (yet).

5:24 PM  

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